funny quotes

funny quotes

God could create the world

God could create the world in six days because he didn't have to make it compatible with the previous version.

Το είπε...: Άγνωστος

Ετικέτες (tags): funny, funny quotes, god, quotations, quotes, world, αστεία

Κατηγορία: Αποφθέγματα

for C students

To those of you who received honors, awards, and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you too may one day be president of the United States.

Το είπε...: George W. Bush

Ετικέτες (tags): funny quotes, Ανέκδοτα

Κατηγορία: Ανέκδοτα

History of democracy

Democracy can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote
themselves money from the public treasure. From that moment on
the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most
money from the public treasury, with the result that a democracy
always collapses over loose fiscal policy followed by a dictatorship.
The average age of the world's great civilizations has been two hundred
years. These nations have progressed through the following sequence:
from bondage to spiritual faith, from spiritual faith to great courage,

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Το είπε...: Alexander Tyler

Ετικέτες (tags): apathy, democracy, dependency, dictatorship, funny, funny quotes, liberty, life, majority, quotations, quotes, voting

Κατηγορία: Αποφθέγματα

Women....

no matter how good she looks, some guy, somewhere, is sick and tired of putting up with her crap

Το είπε...: unknown

Ετικέτες (tags): funny, funny quotes, life, men, quotations, quotes, quotes about life, relationships quotes, women, women qutoes

Κατηγορία: Αποφθέγματα

Telling the truth

If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

Το είπε...: Oscar Wilde

Ετικέτες (tags): funny, funny quotations, funny quotes, Oscar Wilde quotes, quotations, quotes

Κατηγορία: Αποφθέγματα

Ο μικρός Γιωργάκης πέρνει βαθμούς

Τρέχει ο μικρός Γιωργάκης στον δρόμο και πέφτει πάνω σε έναν:
- Καλά, δεν προσέχεις λίγο, παιδάκι μου; λέει ο άνθρωπος.
- Βιάζομαι, γιατί πήρα τους βαθμούς μου, και πάω σπίτι να με δείρει η μαμά μου!
- Καλά, και βιάζεσαι τόσο πολύ να φας ξύλο από την μαμά σου;
- Ναι, γιατί αν αργήσω θα γυρίσει και ο μπαμπάς μου!

Το είπε...: Αννίτα

Ετικέτες (tags): anekdota, anekdoto, funny quotes, Ανέκδοτα, ανέκδοτο, αστεία, αστεία λόγια

Κατηγορία: Ανέκδοτα

My brain has 2 sides

My brain has 2 sides: left & right. Left has nothing right.....and right has nothing left...

Το είπε...: Άγνωστος

Ετικέτες (tags): brain, funny quotes, left, quotations, quotes, right, sides, αστεία, αστεία λόγια

Κατηγορία: Αποφθέγματα

Monty Python's Life of Brian

Stan: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
Reg: But you can't have babies.
Stan: Don't you oppress me.
Reg: Where's the fetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?
Judith: Here! I've got an idea: Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb - which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans' - but that he can have the right to have babies.
Francis: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother... sister, sorry.
Reg: What's the point?
Francis: What?

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Το είπε...: Monty Python

Ετικέτες (tags): clever quotes, funny quotes, Life of Brian, Life of Brian quotes, Monty Python, Monty Python's quotes, movies, movies quotes, oppresion, reality

Κατηγορία: Αποφθέγματα

Crazy world

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon.

Το είπε...: Chris Rock

Ετικέτες (tags): crazy, funny, funny quotes, golfer, life, quotations, quotes, rapper, world

Κατηγορία: Αποφθέγματα

Atom

An atom is walking down the street when he meets a friend of his, who is evidently distraught. "What's the matter...is everything OK?" the atom asks his friend. "Well, I think I might have lost an electron," responds the other atom. "Are you sure?" asks the first. "I'm positive!" replies his friend.

Το είπε...: Atom

Ετικέτες (tags): anekdota, funny, funny quotes, Ανέκδοτα, αστεία, αστεία λόγια, άτομο, επιστήμη, επιστημονικα ανεκδοτα, επιστημονικά αστεία, ηλεκτρόνια

Κατηγορία: Ανέκδοτα

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